a) are vegan

b) blog about food.

Au contraire, mon cherie.

There are tons of manly dudes who follow a plant-based lifestyle and record the contents of their stomach (or brains) online, though not enough that I don’t get excited when I find an awesome new blog and it turns out the author has a Y chromosome.

It’s kinda like being the one guy in that cross-referencd Women’s Studies/ English class in college: you get some extra attention from your peers.

Someone in the Vida Vegan Con Facebook group commented before the event on the dearth of male attendees, so I’m clearly not the only one who’s noticed.

I don’t intend for this post to start any gender wars or be construed as sexist, but I do want all of the men out there who think they can’t be vegan (or blog about it) because of the unfortunate real men eat meat stereotype to think again. It’s the “Women in tech” of vegan food.

So, I made a list, posted in the order that Word sorted their URLs:

• Bryant’s Blog
• The Crabby Vegan
• Fat Gay Vegan
• Further Dispatches
• Herbivoracious (updated: *lacto-ovo*, but does have many good vegan recipes)
• Eating with the academic & the dilettante
• Nutrition Facts
• Play with my Food
• Suicide Food
• The Laughing Vegan
• The Nail That Sticks Up
• The Socially-Awkward Vegan
• The Vegan Zombie
• True Love Health
• Grant Butler (okay, not really a blog, but…)
• Until We Eat Again
• Vegan Black Metal Chef (vlogging counts, right?)
• Vegan Dad
• Ramblings of a Vegan Man
• Vegan Valor
• Disease Proof
• Ari Solomon
• The Laziest Vegans in the World
• No Meat Athlete
• Dr. Barnard’s Blog
• Ryan Patey (who puts out T.O.F.U.!)
• The Sexy Vegan (yeah, vlogging counts.)
• Ready for Plan B
• The Discerning Brute
• Vegan Vagrant

The vegan blogosphere may seem like it’s one big estrogen zone, but these plant-loving gentlemen prove that it’s anything other than, uhh, whatever is the opposite of a sausage fest. (A donut fest? A bagel fest? A salad fest? I mean, if stock photography proves anything, it’s that women love salad.)

I’m probably missing someone, someone really important, so let me know if there’s some vegan guy that you read that I don’t.

image by John C Abell via Creative Commons

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Cupcakes — flour + sugar + oil — make everything more fun.

It’s the cupcake property of mathematics: fun + cupcakes = more fun.

Mimosas — champagne + orange juice — also make life more fun.

Ipso facto, mimosa cupcakes — champagne icing + orange cake — make life doubly more fun.

I came across I am Baker’s Champagne buttercream in my RSS Reader over the weekend, and thought I needed to top something with it for the brunch I attended on Sunday. In different company, I might have brought actual champagne and orange juice, but baked goods seemed more appropriate with this crowd.

Of course, since three of the crowd were human beings of the wee sort, alcohol in any form was probably not the best choice, even in very small amount, suspended in fat and sugar.

It’s a very good thing I have cats and not kids. I would have belligerent children.

Mimosa cupcakes are easy enough to make: 1 recipe VCTOTW Golden Vanilla Cupcakes, with orange extract for the additional extract with a tsp or so of orange zest and a couple of drops of food coloring (optional), and about half a batch of Champagne buttercream, with Earth Balance instead of butter. I iced them with a pastry bag outfitted with a 352 tip and added some clear sprinkles — probably not vegan, but I have them in my pantry from before I knew about the whole sugar not being vegan thing.

As I am Baker mentions, this only takes 3 TBS of champagne, so use a champagne that you’re cool with finishing. While drunk baking is fun, if you don’t feel like downing a bottle of champagne, you can use a white wine, like The Vegan Vine’s sauvignon blanc. (That’s actually what I did.)

Cheers!

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If you are looking for a decadent dessert idea, gaze no further than this chocolate chip cookie dough-filled chocolate cake topped with velvety ganache.

Yes, this is the most disgustingly indulgent recipe that Vegtastic has ever shared. You will probably get diabetes if you eat this daily.

The idea hit me after eating a chocolate-covered vegan cookie dough truffle at Whole Foods: why not fill a chocolate cake with a layer of cookie dough?

Unlike cookie dough made with raw eggs, vegan cookie dough won’t land you a cameo on Food Safety News. You could make your own vegan cookie dough, though I’m a fan of Eat Pastry’s pre-made stuff, also available at Whole Foods.

The chocolate cupcake recipe from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World makes the richest 6″ cake I’ve tasted in recent memory, and 6″ of chocolate chip cookie dough-filled chocolate cake topped with ganache is really all you’ll need for a small army or hungry office.

Chocolate-chip cookie dough filled chocolate cake

Ingredients:

• 1 recipe chocolate cupcake batter from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World
• 1/2 cup cookie dough, like Eat Pastry’s, softened
• 1 recipe chocolate ganache from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World

Instructions:

1. Prepare cupcake batter according to instructions and pour into 2 greased 6″ pans. Bake at the temperature suggested by the recipe for 30 – 40 minutes or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean.
2. Cool layers on a wire rack. When cool, spread cookie dough onto one cake layer. Top with the other layer.
3. Drizzle spread ganache over top of cake and allow to drizzle down sides.

Serve with a side of cold vanilla soy milk and an insulin shot.

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Using recipes from Cooking Light and Super Natural Every Day as inspiration, I came up with a vegan version of baked oatmeal that utilizes the local produce Washingtonians have available in winter: apples.

Baked oatmeal is destined to become a weekend staple around these parts. The chewy texture and sweet, nutty flavor of the grains is akin to a healthier fresh-baked oatmeal cookie, and it comes together quickly — sip coffee, catch up on blogs, or do the Sunday crossword puzzle while it bakes.

It also reheats well, so you can munch on leftovers Monday morning while your coworkers enviously slurp the fake-maple instant stuff.

Apple cinnamon baked oatmeal

Ingredients:

• 2 cups uncooked rolled oats
• 1/2 cup packed brown sugar
• 1 apple, peeled, cored and chopped
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 1/4 cup chopped walnuts
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• salt, to taste (1/4 – 1/2 tsp)
• 2 cups vanilla soy milk or other vanilla nut milk
• 1 tbs oil
• 1 tbs ground flax, mixed in 3 tbs warm water
• Cooking spray

Instructions:

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
2. Combine oats, sugar, apple, cinnamon, walnuts, baking powder and salt in a large bowl.
3. Add soymilk and oil; stir to combine.
4. Stir in flax mixture.
5. Pour into a greased 8″ x 8″ pan. Bake for about 40 minutes, or until mixture is set.
   

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My formula for which team to root for in any given American professional sporting event is as follows:

1. A Bay Area sports team, as that is my native turf. In the rare, earthquake-inducing instance of two Bay Area sports team playing one another, the hierarchy is: Oakland for baseball, San Francisco for football. You’re not supposed to “switch sides,” but I prefer the American League (because that’s the league the Red Sox play in– see #3) and the Raiders are terrifying. This rule can be adjusted if a player on the formula-defined opposing team is especially cute. If no Bay Area sports teams are playing in a particular match, then:
2. A Seattle sports team. This is generally the losing choice for every non-soccer sport, but, if crappy sports are one of the few downsides to living somewhere awesome, so be it. If no Seattle sports teams are playing in a particular match, then:
3. Any team competing against any New England sports team because Boston fans are obnoxious. If a New England team is not playing in a particular match, then:
4. The team a friend is rooting for or a team whose win or loss will impact my life (i.e., the Big Boss is in a better mood when the Packers or Cubs win; therefore, I want these teams to win). If two friends are rooting for competing teams, judge based on #’s 5 and 6, or by which is the better friend. If the outcome does not affect my life or a friend’s’ life, then:
5. The team with the most aesthetically pleasing player. If all players are equally unattractive, then:
6. The team with the best uniform, colors, mascot, city, QB not being a probable rapist, or some other arbitrary qualification.

I obviously don’t give the proverbial damn about sports, and only watch major athletic events because they’re an excuse to get drunk during the day and nibble on unhealthy foods.

But, with the playoffs upon us (49ers!) and the Super Bowl approaching, I’ve been asking myself, “what can vegans eat while the omnis gnaw on pizza and wings?”

7 layer dip is my favorite for idle game time munching: it’s the ooey-gooey good parts of man’s most perfect food, the burrito, minus the carbs.

My mom always made 7 layer dip for pool parties and gatherings with friends when I was growing up. Hers had refried beans, diced tomatoes and white onions, store-bought guacamole, canned chopped black olives, sour cream, and cheddar cheese.

Back then, I used to eat around the guacamole layer — kids are so silly.

This vegan version has vegetarian refried beans, Tofutti non-hydrogenated Sour Supreme, and Wayfare’s We Can’t Say It’s Cheese Cheddar spread; you could sub out the Sour Supreme with cashew sour cream to make this soy-free, and if you can’t find Wayfare at the local veg-friendly store, well, I feel sorry for you. My recipe also calls for salsa instead of fresh tomatoes and onions, purely for ease.

It’s just as cool, creamy, flavorful, and decadent as what Mom used to make, and will turn your living room into a tailgate party in 5 minutes.

Easy vegan 7 layer dip

Ingredients:

• 1 (16 oz) can vegetarian refried beans
• 1 (4.25 oz) can chopped olives
• 8 oz (1/2 jar) salsa
• 2 avocados, mashed with garlic powder, lime or lemon juice, and salt (e.g., easy guac)
• 2 (8 oz) tubs Wayfare cheddar spread
• 1 (12 oz) tub vegan sour cream
• 1 bunch scallions, chopped

Instructions:

1. Layer ingredients in an 8-cup baking dish in the order listed above. Or, in another order of your choosing — layer order will not affect flavor. Hell, put it all in a blender and it will taste just about the same.

Serve with tortilla chips and a healthy dose of willpower, because you’re going to need it. And, seriously: don’t waste your time with Tostitos. Cabo Loco and Juanita’s are the only way to go.

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These brands are usually out of my price range, but Amazon had them on sale, so I splurged on a pair of each.

Dreaming of that day.

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The first act discusses how gossip is important in Malawi for AIDS prevention. People don’t really get tested, so knowing who slept with whom is critical.

Over the course of the program, the narrator brings up an attractive woman who has intimate relations with men despite being HIV-positive: a “one-woman pandemic.”

In America, obesity (and its related illnesses) is our biggest health concern, yet we continue to eat crap, as evidenced by the popularity of television personalities like Paula Deen.

It’s recently been revealed that Paula Deen has type-2 diabetes, the form of the illness typically caused by obesity. She’s made a fortune encouraging others to eat her meaty, buttery, deep-fried recipes, even publishing a terribly unhealthy cookbook for children, and this is killing her. And us.

Even Anthony Bourdain, who has made his living off of other forms of indulgence, has called her,

“the worst, most dangerous person to America.”

Further perpetuating Bourdain’s notion is that she’s been knowingly living with the disease, the consequences of her lifestyle, for 3 years. She’s been encouraging others to follow suit, knowing that her baconballs are ticking time bombs for those genetically predisposed to diabetes, for 3 years. She’s been placing the loaded gun of culinary Russian roulette to America’s head and asking them to pull the trigger for 3 years.

If I could think of another weapon-based metaphor for what she’s been doing to America for 3 years, I would include it.

There’s denial, there’s ignorance, and then there’s the conscious decision to push something you know will harm others just to make money. Despicable.

So, does this make Paula Deen a “one-woman pandemic”? I’d say that continuing to peddle dangerous food in full knowledge of the outcome makes her a public health threat indeed.

She’s not alone in this, of course. The Food Network is obviously also a culprit for airing Paula Deen — she’s popular, she makes money, and she makes money for them. They aren’t blameless, but they also didn’t know she had the disease. She hid it from her bosses.

Sure, people can choose what they eat, but people can also choose who they sleep with — many people in the US are uneducated about the consequences of unhealthy foods just like people in areas with high HIV rates may rely on superstition to stay safe. At some point, even the smartest people just give up and accept what they think is inevitable: they will get AIDS, or they will get fat.

So, now that the woman with the butter-clogged arteries is sick because of lifelong bad decision-making, she’s promoting a diabetes drug — why should anyone trust her pharmaceutical recommendations? Clearly she doesn’t know how to keep herself healthy.

As Catherine Aird said,

If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.

May Paula Deen be this horrible warning.

I hope that this whole incident will encourage the American public the think about what they put into their mouths, and that public consideration of food will lead to greater awareness of the food production system as a whole. If this could ultimately push people towards veganism, that would be great, but just a healthier population would be a nice start.

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Yes, “quinotto” actually is a word.

Toni is from Peru, and brought an amazing veganized red pepper and mushroom quinotto to a recent communal dinner party. I don’t ask my friends to cook vegan, since I’m the only one of the group who is, but am so touched that they do.

Toni explained that quinoa won’t break down when cooked in the same way that rice does, so all the creaminess in quinotto is traditionally from actual cream. She made it with soy milk instead.

Red pepper and crimini mushrooms add a fun but mellow flavor to this dish, and I added a splash of white wine, just ‘cuz.

Red pepper and mushroom quinotto

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 cups quinoa, rinsed
• 3 cups water
• 1/2 onion, diced
• 3 cloves garlic, chopped
• 2 cups sliced crimini mushrooms
• 2 TBS white wine
• 1 cup unsweetened hemp or soy milk
• 1 red bell pepper, seeded and roughly chopped
• salt and pepper to taste
• fresh basil, chiffonaded

Instructions:

• Bring quinoa and water to a boil large saucepan, then cover, reduce the heat, and simmer for 10-15 minutes, or until quinoa is cooked.
• White quinoa cooks, thoroughly blend hemp or soy milk and red bell pepper in a high powered blender. Set aside.
• Saute garlic and onion for a few minutes. Add mushrooms and white wine, and allow mushrooms to fully cook. Set aside.
• When quinoa is done, stir in red pepper mixture and the mushrooms, onions and garlic; season with salt and pepper to taste. Cook on low heat  for 10 minutes or so to allow liquid to absorb. It will look soupy at first, but will all come together.
• Sprinkle with chiffonaded basil.

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The spicy garlic vodka Bloody Mary made a return — Mary knows how to garnish her namesake drink: cornichons, celery, and jalapeño-stuffed olives.

I whipped up a batch of the blueberry biscuit cobbler from Vegan Pie in the Sky – what spectacular contrast between the purple berries and the golden cornmeal: Husky colors! Lemon perks up this traditional dish, and adds a touch of summer, which was needed: it started snowing not long after Mary and I drove over to Erika’s.

Erika made a veganized version of Macrina Bakery’s Squash Harvest Loaf; she used applesauce for the egg and soy yogurt and apple cider vinegar for the buttermilk. It’s chock-full of nuts, seeds and cinnamony goodness, and was almost pudding-like fresh out of the oven. Ah-mazing. Erika even roasted her own pumpkin.

This is just plain coffee, spruced up with warm, foamed almond milk and cinnamon — even the ordinary can be pretty.

Yum.

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The woman I lived with during my junior year abroad in Russia was many things: large, gruff, tough, grandmotherly, not particularly fond of Americans or wearing pants around the apartment, professional (she still worked as a gynecologist), and all around pretty terrifying. She had an awesomely foul mouth, and even my fellow American students’ Russian host moms were afraid of her.

I’m pretty sure she saw me as the human equivalent of a houseplant: feed it, talk to it a bit, generally leave it alone.

However, she was a great cook. Many Americans claim to not like Russian food, but I think they’d change their minds if they ate hers.

While grating beets for this Russian-inspired raw vegan salad, I was nervous that my favorite jeans would soon be covered in flecks of red, so I took them off.

Immediately, I flashed back to sitting on a stool in Marina Stepanovna’s small, cozy kitchen, watching her stand by the stove in her undies and a t-shirt, swearing loudly as she nearly burned my dinner (though she never did — again, great cook).

There’s nothing to burn in this dish, but careful while you’re grating the beets. You’ll definitely curse if you shred a finger.

Creamy raw beet salad with walnuts

Ingredients:

• 1 large beet, grated
• 1/2 cup cashews, soaked overnight and drained
• 3 small garlic cloves
• 1 tbs lemon juice
• 1/3 – 1/2 cup walnuts
• sea salt, to taste

Instructions:

1. Place cashews in a VitaMix with enough water to almost cover them. Add lemon juice and garlic, and combine until well-blended.
2. Place grated beets, walnuts and salt in a bowl; stir in cashew cream.

Serve chilled, with black tea and intimidation.

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